The Best Yes
“Do you ever regret going to Spain?” I’ve been asked this question over the years and my answer is always the same. I feel like I had even more clarity on the topic after spending the last year in America. “I never regret saying yes to God.” That’s my answer. There have been plenty of times when I have wanted to leave Spain or have been really unhappy to be there. But I have never wished I had not accepted the call or followed God when he led us away from what was comfortable out into the unknown. This past summer, as I was driving to pick Lucy up from a camp in the town where we lived for 15 years, I felt this thought form so clearly.
“I am so comfortable here in America. I am so comfortable and I am so discontent. Because I know this isn’t where God wants me in this season. And I am so uncomfortable in Spain. Things feel exponentially harder than they should. Nothing is easy. I am often frustrated. But I feel so content there, knowing that God has placed me there for this season and I want nothing more than to be in his will.”
So there’s the tension. I love America. It’s my home. I feel comfortable there. And discontent.
And I love Spain. It’s the place that showed me how much bigger God was than I could dare to imagine. But it’s hard to live there. It’s uncomfortable. But I am content there, knowing living there places me in the will of God for my life.
Maybe one day the two (contentment and comfort) will intersect, and I will feel comfortable and at ease in a place that I am also deeply content. But until then, in obedience, I choose contentment over comfort.
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